I am still feeling greatly disappointed and hurt by two separate incidents which occurred last week.
In one incident, my mother reneged on an offer she'd made to me on two separate occasions. That kind of thing is typical of her. She forfeits credibility, to my way of thinking, when she does such things.
In another incident which occurred on that same day, I learned that the church I'd been attending had such an extreme view with regard to the subject of "submission to authority" that I could no longer attend that church in good conscience. It had begun to feel more like a cult than a church.
As a result, I am now estranged both from my mother and from that church.
Yet, things could be worse. The weather could not be better here in Chicago today. The skies are fairly clear. It's neither too cold nor too hot. Humidity is only 51%, according to Weather.com. This comfortable weather is a blessing, since I have no air conditioning in my apartment.
In my imagination, I imagine that the weather in heaven will be similar to what the weather here is like today. Of course, the air there will be much cleaner.
After going over to the Starbucks on North Avenue in order to apply for a job, I walked over to the Chicago History Museum (run by the Chicago Historical Society), where I browsed a bit in their gift shop and bookstore. Then I walked out back behind the building and sat on a park bench, enjoying the sight and the scent of the beautiful garden planted directly in front of a tall statue of Abraham Lincoln. It was a fantastic setting in which to pray, so that was what I did.
In about a week, I will turn 51 years old. There have been times during the past few years when I didn't think I'd make it this long. There have been times when I wanted very much to die. Yet, here I am nevertheless.
Satan tries to plant seeds of negative thought in my mind, telling me that I'm a loser who is bound to fail. But I am trying to fight those thoughts by countering them with positive affirmations of God's love for me. Jesus said that one ought not to take thought for tomorrow. I don't think that he meant that one ought not to plan. I think he meant that one ought not to worry. That's much easier said than done, for me at any rate. But I am doing my best.
With the grace and love of God, I will prevail.