Wednesday, November 16, 2005

A Temporary Change To This Blog

If you haven't guessed by now from reading the posts I've written to this blog, I love a good debate. Some people seem to get "writer's block" and freeze up at the very thought of having to put their thoughts down on paper or the electronic equivalent of paper. Not me.

The trouble is that my enjoyment of writing long and highly detailed analyses of various issues can be a real distraction from tasks I need to accomplish in order to address my own material need for sustenance. This is particularly true when temptation is as close as my laptop computer, and when the interactive nature of the Web offers me far more opportunities to express myself than I would otherwise have.

About a month ago, I lost my job as an administrative assistant. I've mentioned that before in this blog. I've been seeking work since then, but so far, nothing. My finances are dwindling day by day. Even if I got hired today for a full-time job, which seems highly unlikely, I'd probably only have one paycheck in-between now and December 1 when the rent is due. That rent is a mere $404, but I still need to feed myself and pay other expenses, such as my CTA pass, food, laundry, my ISP bill (so that I can continue to send out resumes via e-mail) and so forth. So there's a big question in my mind regarding whether or not I'm going to be able to pay my rent on time in December. It seems highly unlikely at this point.

Whenever one goes without work long enough that it begins to pose a serious threat to one's ability to do such basic things as paying the rent on time, guilt becomes a factor. Questions begin to knaw through one's brain. Did I do enough today? Is the fact that I still haven't found work my fault? Does the fact that I keep going through these types of crises mean that I'm a total loser? Questions like that. It can begin to negatively affect one's emotional well-being in a serious way. Nerves become frayed, and phrases such as "fear factor" take on a whole new meaning. I went through a similar experience a couple of years ago, and now it seems that I'm going through it all over again.

My conscience tells me that nearly every waking second should be spent applying for jobs or working in some other capacity to alleviate this situation, but I sometimes get distracted by such things as responding to e-mail messages about matters which are of passionate interest to me. (When one loses a job, one doesn't just suddenly become a whole different person. It isn't easy for me to just turn my interests on and off like a light switch.)

But I just can't afford to keep doing that. I realized that after spending a long time last night writing a very long response to a comment on a blog I'd written about evolution. Before I knew it, it was 2:00 in the morning and I still hadn't gone to bed. The response I posted may or may not have been sufficiently lucid and intelligent, I don't know. Maybe it was good for me to do what I did by writing it. But I just can't do that anymore. My financial survival is currently in jeopardy, and that has to be my top priority.

Therefore, this blog is being written and posted in order to announce that for the time being, I am turning off the Comments feature in this blog, not because I want to censor anyone, but because responding to such comments is too much of a distraction from the many things I'm going to have to do in order to deal with this crisis in which I find myself.

If anyone reading this should feel so inclined to do so, I would appreciate it if you would pray for me. I could really use it. I could really use some tangible financial help, too. It seems unlikely, though, that I will get such material help from anyone. My experiences in the past have not been very positive in that regard. Getting anyone to do more than offer kind words of encouragement is like pulling teeth. Kind words of encouragement are appreciated, of course, but they won't pay the bills, so they won't really relieve the stress I'm feeling right now.

Well, God will take care of my somehow. I have to keep believing that. But there are times in my life, like right now, when such faith doesn't come easily to me.

Monday, November 14, 2005

From Jesus Freaks to Control Freaks

In the 1970's, shortly after becoming a Christian in 1969, I became a part of the budding "Jesus movement". There were a lot of young people, in those days, who, despite the fact that we dressed like hippies and listened to rock music, loved the Lord. We were sometimes known as "Jesus freaks".

I miss those days. Some of my best friendships were developed during that time of my life. People weren't perfect, of course, but the people who were part of that movement did seem to have a genuine love for God and for all people, saved or otherwise.

These days, it seems to me, the church could use a lot more Jesus freaks, and a lot fewer control freaks. Many of our pastors (some of whom, ironically, were once part of the Jesus movement, and some of whom think that they still are) have become bullies who believe that the fact that they're in charge entitles them to run roughshod over the feelings and needs of others in their congregations. They may give lip service to the idea that ministers of the gospel ought to emulate Christ by serving others, but their actions speak more loudly than their words.

This is particularly true when it comes to the way many pastors treat musicians. Even though it would be extremely difficult to find a really successful church which had no talented musicians on its worship team, there are still pastors who treat musicians as if they are expendable, and as if their needs, material and otherwise, are utterly unimportant.

Even in cases where there is no evidence to substantiate such accusations, musicians are often presumed to be immature people who need to be "humbled" (or, to be more accurate, repeatedly denigrated and humiliated) in the name of spiritual discipline, for no better reason than the fact that they are musicians! And then people wonder why they aren't constantly bubbling over with the "joy of the Lord".

Admittedly, there are some musicians, just as there are Christians in all other walks of life, who deserve to be accused of being self-centered and immature. If and when that is the case, then it is appropriate for Christian leaders to speak the truth about such matters, provided that they are guided by love and humility when they communicate such things. But musicians have no monopoly on immaturity.

My father, for example, was once considered a "pillar of the community". He was an optometrist, and he loved the prestige which came from being called "Dr. Pettigrew". He was head of the local PTA, a well-known figure at Rotary and Toastmaster meetings, the Chairman of the Mayor's Commission on Human Rights, and (at one time) the president of the Missouri Optometric Association. He even had a photo of himself shaking hands with the Governor of Missouri, in his official capacity as the president of the MOA.

He was also a part-time minister (or what was called a "lay minister") in the Methodist church. Every Sunday morning, the people would stream out of the small country churches he led, saying things such as "What a wonderful sermon, Dr. Pettigrew!" They were right. My father had "charisma", and he could preach a magnificent sermon.

At one time in my life, I was actually very proud of him, despite his propensity for beating the living daylights out of me with his thin leather belt for the most trivial of offenses. But there came a time when I could no longer feel proud of my father. By the time he died in 1999, he had:
  • Violently thrown me up against the wall because I inadvertently left my football out in the front yard.
  • Committed adultery.
  • Denied that Christ had risen from the dead (during a conversation which I remember vividly, despite the passage of more than 30 years).
  • Divorced my mother.
  • Ridiculed both me and my mother for our growing Christian faith.
  • ... and gone from being a "tee-totaller" to an alcoholic who, at one point, was so drunk that he couldn't even put his own pants on.
How pathetic! But do you think he ever really apologized for anything? No, not my dad. He was, after all, a "pillar of the community".

Gosh, I guess it's a good thing he wasn't a musician, too --- then he would have been really bad!

Pastors need to get their own houses in order before they start taking musicians to task. This, by the way, includes pastors who also happen to be talented musicians.

One such person, from the Chicago area, is Glenn Kaiser, the very talented singer and guitarist who once led the Resurrection Band, which I still consider to be one of the best bands in the history of rock music. (Notice that I didn't qualify that by saying, "one of the best Christian bands". They were that good.) Glenn, who is a pastor at Jesus People U.S.A. (where I lived for several months in 1991), recently stated the following (in his blog): "Talent doesn't EVER equal spiritual maturity. Never. Nada." He's right, it doesn't. And that's as applicable to his talent as it is to anyone else's.

By the same token, a position of authority in a local church or national ministry should never be automatically equated with spiritual maturity, either. From Jim Jones to Jim Bakker to Jimmy Swaggart to Jesse Jackson to the Catholic priests who have been convicted of the sexual abuse of minors, there are just too many examples of incompetent, self-centered, blatantly sinful pastors and priests for anyone but the most naive to think that authority in the church is equal to spiritual maturity.

Amazingly, despite many decades in which contemporary Christian music has had the opportunity to demonstrate its compatibility with the goals of the church, there are still pastors (usually theologically conservative pastors) who believe, despite the absence of any scriptures to support their views, that rock music is "of the Devil". When asked to cite the applicable scriptures, chapter and verse, they are unable to do so, of course, because no such scriptures exist in any known translation of the holy scriptures. Yet, rather than seeing Christian rock musicians as allies in the fight against the Devil's lies, they see such musicians as enemies to be opposed. Sometimes this opposition is very blatant, other times it's much more subtle, but in all instances, it can be a source of real spiritual stress for those who are doing their best to serve the Lord with the musical talents and extremely limited material resources given to them.

CCM, also known as Contemporary Christian Music, was a genre of music started by "Jesus freaks" who believed that it was irrational for Christians who claimed to be guided by the word of God to invent prohibitions (such as the prohibition against rock music) which had no basis in scripture. They saw no reason not to play or enjoy such music, and they saw it as a potent tool which could be used for evangelistic purposes.

Indeed, it was, as I saw firsthand when I promoted a Sweet Comfort Band concert when I was in college. Numerous people accepted Christ as Savior at that concert. That was hardly an isolated event. Many Christian rock concerts have led to conversions to the faith.

Yet, right from the start, Christian rock musicians faced an uphill battle. They were too Christian for the secular music market, and too radical for many of the older people who shared their Christian beliefs.

Eventually, after several decades of struggle, the vast majority of the church acknowledged that pop and rock music could be legitimate expressions of the faith. (Walk through any Bible bookstore today, if you don't believe me.) Unfortunately, it now seems legitimate to ask if it matters anymore. Somewhere along the way, people involved in the Christian music industry lost sight of why the pioneers (such as Larry Norman and Barry McGuire) had played and recorded contemporary Christian music in the first place.

The vision for changing the world with such music was lost. Instead of seeing CCM as a potent evangelistic tool, Christians started seeing such music as a "safe alternative" to worldly rock music. Instead of wanting to storm the gates of Hell, they wanted to retreat to a nice, warm castle which would protect them from the influence of the enemy.

I'm not completely unsympathetic. In any war, it's sometimes necessary to go on the defensive if you want to survive to see another day. But you'll never win any major wars if you stay on the defensive forever. To win wars, it's necessary to leave your comfort zone and take risks. These days, far too few Christians are willing to do that. There are a few Christian musicians who continue to try to bridge the gap between the church subculture and the larger culture which surrounds them, without compromising their faith or their commitment to musical excellence, but they seem to be the exception, not the rule.

As a result, American culture is on a downward path in terms of the collective moral values of our nation. While Christians hide behind stained glass doors and play church, people are dying outside.

Nostalgia can be a bad thing, of course. Even if we wanted to do so, it's highly doubtful that we could ever return to the glory days of the Jesus movement. But that doesn't mean that it's a bad idea to look at what we've lost, why we lost it, and what we could do and ought to do in order to recover that which was lost.

First of all, pastors need to stop selectively choosing to focus on only those scriptures which support their personal ambitions. They need to remind themselves that God is no respecter of persons. Every person in the Body of Christ is valuable. Therefore it is a disservice to the church and to Christ to run one's church in such a way that most people have no real voice with regard to the policies and practices within their own churches. In particular, Christians who seek to use the arts as a means of reconnecting the church to disenfranchised people ought to be encouraged and supported in those efforts.

Likewise, pastors need to recommit themselves to the principal that only the scriptures constitute God's word. Imposing their own personal preferences and prejudices on others, without any real scriptural justification for doing so, is simply unacceptable.

Second, Christians need to do some soul-searching with regard to their attitudes towards the lost. Do we really care about the masses of people who don't know the Lord? If so, why aren't we willing to reach out to them and communicate the gospel in a manner which will transcend the superficial cultural barriers which have prevented them from taking our message seriously? And why do we endlessly snipe at each other, when the only purpose that serves is to distract us from the task of fulfilling the Great Commission?

Ultimately, the Jesus Movement was not about superficial styles of clothing or music. It was about an attitude, one which transcends time and space, and that's the attitude that people matter. No one is expendable. Just because people dress differently or like different styles of music, that's no reason to treat them as if they are unimportant.

When the church becomes insular, when its focus is primarily on preserving the status quo rather than transforming it, it betrays the Lord, who came and died in order to seek and save all who were lost.

Sunday, November 13, 2005

Links to Earlier Posts
as of Nov. 13, 2005

I've noticed that earlier posts are listed individually by topic for a while, here on this site, but eventually, the only way to access them is via archive pages which combine multple entries or posts into a single web page. That makes it a bit harder to print individual posts you do want without printing posts you don't want, so I've gone to the trouble of creating this post in order to make it possible for anyone who wishes to visit those earlier posts individually to do so. I'm also including a brief description of each post so that you can more easily find posts which particularly strike your fancy.

This was my first blog entry, in which I established the foundational premise upon which future blog entries would be based:

This blog entry pertains to my musical talent and interests (including the development of my desire to serve the Lord with my music), and it contains some autobiographical information:

This very brief blog entry discusses my art and photos:

This contains some observations about the tragedy in New Orleans, including some observations about the general spiritual climate which was predominant in that city prior to Katrina, and the role that may have played in the tragedy:

This blog entry contains some observations about my frustrations in relation to my current career path:

This blog entry contains additional thoughts about New Orleans:

This blog entry contains information about the website I created (to showcase some of my flower & garden photos) in 2002:

This blog entry contains some generalized observations about bullies. It was inspired by a very unpleasant encounter with a co-worker, who could politely be described as psychotic:

This blog entry contains some thought-provoking ideas pertaining to how Christians ought to deal with the worldly influences which surround them:

This blog entry briefly describes my first visit to River North Baptist Church.

This blog entry discusses the benefits of blogging, compared with some of the drawbacks of using conventional bound paper journals for the purpose of recording one's thoughts:

This blog entry discusses some of my ideas about the benefits of Christian coffeehouses, what it takes to create an effective coffeehouse ministry, and how such a ministry might be part of a larger ministry pertaining to all facets of the arts:

This blog entry contains a thoughtful response to criticism I received in response to the first blog entry about Christian coffeehouses:

This blog entry should be of interest to Christians who believe, as I do, that our culture is exhibiting increasing hostility to Christian moral values:

This blog entry contains some of my thoughts about genealogy, in relation to issues of personal identity:

This blog entry contains lyrics to one of my more "confrontational" evangelistic Christian songs, inspired by a verse in the book of Proverbs:

This blog entry contains lyrics to a Christian love song I wrote recently:

This blog entry contains some ideas about how a Christian ought to live from day to day:

This blog entry contains my critique of evolutionary theory from a Christian perspective:

I've also written additional blogs since then, but they are still accessible via the main menu bar on the right side of this page, and likely will be for some time, so I have no need to list them in this way yet. But I very likely will do so later.

The Contemplative Life

I wrote the following poem several years ago. In it, I attempted to express my personal struggle, in terms of trying to make a real difference in this world in a way which will enable me to leave a lasting legacy, while simultaneously dealing with issues pertaining to the need to support myself financially. I hope that you enjoy it.

The Contemplative Life
© Mark Pettigrew

To live the contemplative life is something I desire.
To leave behind a legacy that points to something higher.
Yet, practical reality intrudes at every turn.
To balance in-between the two is something I must learn.

The dull, mundane realities I face from day to day
are merely temporary things which soon will pass away.
The thing which makes a life worthwhile is what one leaves behind.
And so I focus on the Truth, and discipline my mind.

Some men expire before they die; they’re merely marking time.
I pray my growth will never cease, for that would be a crime.
I soak up knowledge like a sponge, I thirst for even more.
I want to do a greater thing than what’s been done before.

And when I die, I pray that I will hear the words, “Well done.”
The only praise that really counts is praise from God’s own son.
Yet any praise I might receive is trivial indeed
compared with praise owed to the One who meets my every need.

No doubt, some people will think that the above poem is trite, or pretentious, or that it isn't sufficiently "hip" because it actually rhymes. (I personally think that "free verse" is just another term for "prose which is artfully arranged on the page by the typesetter".) Oh, well, you can't please everyone, but as the last few lines make plain, it isn't important to please everyone, anyway. Pleasing God is ultimately all that matters.


NOTE: To download additional Christ-centered poems I've written (stored online in the form of PDF files which can be downloaded from a public SkyDrive folder), visit this link, then select the poem in which you have an interest, and then click the Download button.

Friday, November 11, 2005

My Job Search
(Part 1)

On October 13, I lost my job. I was working as an administrative assistant for a lawyer (and landlord) here in Chicago. In some respects, it's a miracle that I lasted there as long as I did. In terms of personalities, the two of us were like oil and water. Or, more to the point, like oil and fire! In my opinion, my boss had (and very likely still has) a serious "anger management" problem. She seemed to think that the fact that she was my boss entitled her to throw a temper tantrum anytime anything slightly displeased her.

I begged to differ, and I still do.

I have no problem with the fact that there are certain prerogatives which come with being someone's boss, but I don't believe that bosses are exempt from the moral obligation to treat people decently, with kindness and respect. It's called the Golden Rule, and it applies to everyone without exception.

There is a verse in the Bible which says something to this effect: "To whom much is given, much will be required." Just as our domination of the earth's environment does not entitle us to abuse the environment, so also authority over other human beings does not entitle us to abuse them. Regardless of whether a person is a boss, a parent, a teacher or a political leader, God will hold that person accountable for how he or she has used (and, in some cases, abused) that position of authority.