Saturday, August 31, 2013

Ecstatic Over Her New Purchase Or Gift

Here's a link to a YouTube video in which a woman puts together her new sex machine (the Caesar 2.0, sold at and and, among many sites). The video is worth watching, just to hear the woman's squeels of delight, and to hear her say things like, "You guys really need to leave me alone now. Me and Caesar need to get acquainted."

If I could afford this type of machine, and if I could find a woman to gift with the product or a similar product, it would thrill me to buy it for her and watch her use it.

Friday, August 30, 2013

Christians and Nymphomania

There are some people in the world who equate love for God with lack of interest in sexual things. (I still remember being told as much, when I lived in Boston and worked at Baby Watson, by a co-worker named Bill, who had a big handlebar moustache.)

Visit, however, and you will see that that is not the lens through which all believers see sex. A nymphomaniac is not just a person who accepts sexuality as a good and necessary thing; he or she is characterized by what Wikipedia calls "hypersexuality". A nympho is a nympho, whether or not he or she is a believer.

The Christian Nymphos web site, of course, is primarily for married spouses. There's no question that marriage is the ideal context in which sexual intercourse should take place. However, if pastors and other Christians will not play an active role in helping Christian men and women to find mates so that they can have sexual intercourse in that context, those believers have no one to blame but themselves if the believers in their midst find that the pressures associated with constant deprivation (sometimes for periods of numerous decades) make them vulnerable to temptations that might be regarded as fornicatory.

CraigsList Is For People Tired Of Being Virgins

If you've ever seen the movie "The Sessions", in which Helen Hunt plays the part of a sex surrogate named Cheryl Cohen-Green, you know that it's about a handicapped man named Mark O'Brien, whose handicap was so severe that he had to be wheeled around the campus of the college he attended on a gurney. (He'd had a motorized gurney at one point, like a motorized wheelchair but more extreme, but he was always bumping into people when he drove it.)

Mark O'Brien, like all normal men, longed to experience love and sexual intercourse with a woman. But most of the women he met were home care assistants he'd hired on account of his disability. His overtures to them were spurned, even though they cared for him on some level. So he was still a virgin, in his late thirties.

When I learned about that movie, I really related to the movie, on account of the fact that I, too, was a virgin. (I was considerably older, as a 56 year old man.) I was gratified to note that the priest with whom Mark O'Brien consulted about his desire to see a sex surrogate had essentially told Mark that he believed that God would cut him some slack, on account of his physical disability. My handicap is not as severe as Mark's was, since I need no gurney, but even so, walking any long distance, especially up a steep hill while carrying my laptop computer, is a real strain for me.

I actually contacted Cheryl Cohen-Green, and we had several pleasant phone conversations. I was seriously thinking about visiting California, where she and most other sex surrogates work and live. But difficulties in making connections with other surrogates in that area caused me to think that it might not be an option for me after all.

I next investigated the option of visiting one of a number of legal brothels in the state of Nevada. I corresponded with several of the prostitutes working there, including Madison Graham (The Love Ranch) and Airforce Amy (The Bunny Ranch). Amy had been featured on an HBO TV series called "Cathouse". Here's a link to the Wikipedia article about that series.

Paying for sex was not something I'd ever wanted to do, but it seemed likely to me, on the basis of my handicap and on the basis of my past failures to establish any kind of a relationship that might lead me to marriage, that I would never experience sexual intercourse any other way. (There was always the option of buying a realistic love doll from, but even though those dolls were pretty amazing in terms of their physical appearance, I wanted to have sex with a REAL WOMAN, not a RealDoll. Besides, good love dolls cost way more than I could afford to pay.)

Recently, I learned about another option. I'd told my case manager Michael Justin about my attempt to start up my own singles group, called Get Hitched, in connection with In fact, I've scheduled the group's first meeting for tomorrow at 12:15 p.m. at the Round Table Pizza restaurant. But it seems unlikely that there will be more than a couple of people there; in fact, even though one woman has RSVP'd me to let me know that she'll be there, I may in fact be the only person there. I've ordered a large pizza for the occasion, but I may find myself with a lot of leftovers, since I normally don't buy a large pizza just for myself.

I told Michael that I really needed to publicize the group with something more than just the flyer's I'd posted on a couple of bulletin boards in town. EDDM mailings would enable me to reach tons of people with information about the group. But EDDM mailings are expensive! (EDDM stands for Every Door Direct Mail.)

Michael suggested that I look into CraigsList in relation to my desire to meet women. I'd had one or two bad experiences with CraigsList in the past, but I decided to follow his advice. At that site, I discovered that they had a Casual Encounters section, specifically for men and women seeking to get laid. I ran an ad there, and two women responded. One sent me a link to a web page showing her with bared breasts; the other sent me an email attachment which similarly showed her topless. The latter is from Ferndale (much closer than California or Nevada), and she's 23 years old. (And WOW, she really looks good with her top off.) She knows that I'm 57, but she's still interested in "hosting" me in her Ferndale home.

UPDATE: I just got a third response from a woman. Like the first two, she sent email attachments showing her bare breasts, but neither of the photos she sent showed her face.

I understand that women whose CraigsList ads state that they are looking for "generous" men are usually hookers, but so far, neither of the aforementioned women have said anything to me to indicate that they might charge me money for their sexual services. I don't know what the Ferndale woman does for a living, but the other woman who also showed her face works as a teacher's assistant, and while I suppose that a teacher's assistant might also be a hooker, it seems unlikely. It seems likely that either of the women I mentioned will want me to buy at least one dinner for them, and I'm willing to do that.

To have sex with a woman to whom I am not married would be regarded by many of my fellow Christians as fornication. Undoubtedly. But I regard fornication as a relatively mild offense, in comparison with adultery, which my father committed while married to my mother. Fornication is certainly MUCH milder than what King David did when he had Absolom murdered on the battlefield so that David could marry Bathsheba. (The Wikipedia article about Bathsheba shows an old painting of Bathsheba, hanging in the Louvre museum, and she had nice boobs too, or at least the model for that painter did.)

We Christians talk a lot about grace, but in practice, we're often unwilling to extend grace and forgiveness to people who find that the legalistic requirements of the church are heavy burdens to carry, despite our rhetoric about God's ability and willingness to forgive.

I would still rather experience sexual intercourse in the context of love and marriage. But when I pled with my pastor and others in my church for their help in making a love connection, I got the impression that they did not plan to do much of practical value, in that regard. (One woman's idea of "help" was to recommend that I read a book entitled "Sexless In The City", as if I couldn't have written a book with that title myself.) So it seems to me that they really have no business butting into mine and dictating to me what I ought to do vis-a-vis sex. I WILL NOT DIE A VIRGIN!!! (A friend of my brother's named Donald recently died, at an age only 3 years older than my current age. Can you hear the clock ticking? Because I certainly can.)Abraham Maslow listed sex as one of the most fundamental human needs, right alongside eating, sleeping, defecating and so forth. My pastor has "pooh-poohed" that notion, but then again, he HAS a wife, as do most of the men in my church.

Thursday, August 29, 2013

Pat Boone and the F-Word

Wikipedia has an article about a documentary film, by director Steve Anderson, about a word which many people find offensive. The film was simply called "Fuck".

In the article, it states, about Pat Boone (the man who became a Christian in the late 60s or early 70s, and who played the part of David Wilkerson in the movie The Cross and The Switchblade), "Boone argues for less usage of the word in society, and points out that he uses his own name, 'Boone', instead of the word."

Now, I am in agreement with Pat, regarding less usage of the word, because there are some people who use it mindlessly, like some other people can't talk without saying "um". For some people, "fuck" or "fucking" or fucker" (and the even more offensive word "motherfucker") takes the form of noun, verb, adjective, adverb, and just about every other type of word. It's kind of similar to the way that Beavis and Butthead, the cartoon characters, might derive glee from saying "ass".

Still, saying that a word is far too prevalent is not the same thing as saying that it should never be used under any circumstances. I have been known to say the word when I was really angry. And I think it's a perfectly good word when one intends to talk about copulation, aka coitus, aka intercourse, aka "making love". Can you imagine a person saying to his or her spouse, "Let's copulate, honey"? Or "Copulate with me harder?" I don't think so!!! I can't speak for personal experience yet (since I'm still a virgin at the age of 57), but it seems to me that one has to be lost in the land of euphemisms to painstakingly use any of those terms in everyday circumstances.

There is a category of sex toys (usually quite expensive) called "fucking machines" on the web sites where they are sold. Basically, these are machines (many of which can be seen at which thrust a dildo in and out of a woman's vagina at some pretty impressive speeds. (The Caesar 3.0, for instance, operates at thrusting speeds of 75 to 300 strokes per minute!) Judging from some of the videos I've seen at YouTube, some of these machines are fairly quiet, but others are quite noisy. Check out the video at

I'm Facebook friends with Pat Boone. So I think maybe I'll send him a message, asking if we should now call the Caesar 3.0 a "Boone-ing Machine"!

Tuesday, August 27, 2013

Charming? You Decide.

Chelsea Charms, seen in various YouTube videos, is a woman known for her enormous (surgically enhanced) breasts. (Chelsea isn't her real name.)

Her 164XXX bra size requires that she get bras from a custom bra maker in Texas; no normal clothing store sells bras that big.

Host Philip Scofield, when he had her on a British news talk show called This Morning, couldn't keep his eyes off her. During his interview with Chelsea, Scofield's female co-host asked Chelsea what had motivated her to get her breasts enlarged to that extent. She replied candidly that she really liked getting attention from people, and that was a good way to do it.

Also, she said that she'd made a fair amount of money, as an adult entertainer.

I'm a normal guy, and I do not deny that I like boobs. But Chelsea is a bit of a freak. And I don't even think that her "big bazooms" make her look very good.

I'm amazed that she says that she hasn't had enormous back problems as a result.

Sunday, August 25, 2013

Attack Of The Sex Machines

There's a funny video at, in which two black men attempt to deal with the proliferation of sex machines, which automate the process of penetrating a woman's "lady parts" to give her an orgasm. (In all fairness, some machines of that nature can be adapted to male sex toys like the Fleshlight, but it's pretty clear to me, from what I've seen on the web, that the machines are being marketed primarily to women.)

To see a web site which specializes in selling such products exclusively, visit Or if you prefer to see one of the most famous and most expensive machines of that nature, visit or Kat Smith is a black woman who hosts the G-rated videos at the latter site. One of those videos states that the Sybian can help to make a woman "multi-orgasmic". In that video, a couple testifies that the Sybian has rebooted the sex life of the couple.

In the aforementioned YouTube video, the men shown in that dramatization hate the idea of being replaced by a machine. But even if a machine has the ability to make a woman "multi-orgasmic" (to use the term used by the folks at Sybian), a machine can't listen to a woman with empathy after she's had a hard day at work. A machine can't pray for a woman, or kiss and caress her. I'd be willing to do that for a woman, if I could find one who would love and cherish me as she wanted to be loved and cherished. If I ever get the chance to do that, I will do my best.

Besides, such a sex machine could enhance the lovemaking sessions of a real couple. Some seem to require the participation of a partner (although not necessarily a male partner, alas). For example, there is a product that consists of a power drill, attached to a dildo, and sometimes marketed as the Drilldo. I've seen other names used, but I like Drilldo, since it reminds me of a Christian guy I once knew named Jon Speckman, who would refer in conversations about sex with his wife Debby (who had suffered with cancer) to "drilling" her! For him, I suspect that it was just a metaphor, but with the Drilldo, it wouldn't have to be. (I've also seen a sex machine made by adapting a dildo to a reciprocating power saw. But the name Sawdo wouldn't sound as good.)

If my woman (or rather, any woman I may get in the future) wants to use a Sybian in order to get orgasms more intense than any I can give to her solely with my natural endowments, I'm fine with that. In fact, I would very likely get turned on by watching her do it.

Expensive "fucking machines" are available mostly from specialized sex shops on the Internet, but I've also seen a number of those products at I don't know whether or not the company sells sex machines, but I've even seen dildos at the web site for Walgreens ( Walgreens, for crying out loud! It's hardly surprising that they don't stock and display these products at your friendly neighborhood Walgreens, but they are clearly not averse to selling them online., also sells dildos, (, including the Clone A Willy kit for making custom dildos modeled after one's own penis. Of course, some might argue that a dick is a dick is a dick, but there might be women who would prefer knowing that their dildos were modeled after the penises of their husbands or lovers.

By the way, I wouldn't recommend one of these machines for a woman afflicted with PGAD (Persistent Genital Arousal Disorder), also known as Persistent Sexual Arousal Syndrome (PSAS). The last thing that such women need is more intense orgasms; they can get orgasms just by exercising, riding horses or standing near washing machines. But interestingly enough, masturbation is one of the ways that such women get relief. To watch a YouTube video about that syndrome or disorder, visit

Saturday, August 24, 2013

A Stroke Not A Ministroke

Yesterday, I was walking a relatively short distance, from my apartment (1213 Whatcom Street, Apartment 118) to the Subway sandwich shop on Lakeway. Yet, I was still struggling as I walked with my cane. Admittedly, I had my laptop computer with me, and it can get pretty heavy in its bag. Still, I could have easily done that at one time.

As I walked past a somewhat elderly woman living near that store, she asked me if I needed help. I replied that I didn't need more help than I normally did. (My new "normal" is something which I would not have regarded as normal at all at one time.) I told the woman that I walked with a cane on account of having had several mini-strokes. At least, that was what they told me at PeaceHealth St. Joseph's hospital.

I've always found myself wondering whether or not the term "mini-stroke" really applied to what I'd experienced. I couldn't help but think, "If this is 'mini', I'd hate to see 'maxi'."

That perception was affirmed by the woman with whom I spoke yesterday. She told me that she took care of stroke patients (as a nurse, as I recall), and it looked to her like I'd had a full-blown stroke, just based on the way that I walked.

Later that day, when the Subway sandwich shop closed for the evening and I walked back to my apartment, I found myself struggling even more than usual. I called my roommate Everett Barton and told him about my conversation with that woman. I said that there were times when I wanted to scream, "I WANT MY BODY BACK!"

There's a guy named Dale McMurtrey, who serves my church as a leader. Ostensibly, after a recent heart attack, he technically "died". But frankly, when I watch him walk around at church, he looks a lot healthier than me. At church, I've never seen him walking with a cane.

When I recently sent Dale an email message, to make him aware of the singles group I was trying to start (which I've decided to call Get Hitched), he sent me a reply saying that he didn't want any more emails from me about that particular subject. The email to him had not really been addressed to him; it was just a copy of an email addressed to a woman from Mosaic Church named Donna Vander Griend. In the email to Donna, I'd asked her to make people aware that I planned to hold the first meeting of the group at Round Table Pizza (Sunset Square in Bellingham) on August 31, 2013, at 12:15 p.m.

Dale has no reason to want to attend a singles group himself. He's been blessed with a wife (Lori) and a beautiful daughter (Amy). Why would he want to join Get Hitched? But I naively thought that he had been gifted with empathy, and that he cared about bearing the burdens of his fellow Christian believers. Being single is a real burden for me, compounded by the burden of my recent stroke-related physical problems. I've begged for help in relation to my single status when speaking with folks at Mosaic. So far, however, I've seen very little to suggest that those who have given lip service to the idea of passing on my contact information to single women looking for mates was likely to ever be any more than lip service. That's why I decided to start Get Hitched (organized via a page at, and also via another blog I recently created for the group). I know that I can't be the only person who is sick and tired of being a virgin, with no partner (e.g., "helpmate") of the opposite gender!

In the movie Fiddler On The Roof, there was a song, sung by a young woman: "Matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match." In communities of old that role was played by people who recognized that some people needed help in the love department. (Todd Rundgren sang a song entitled, "We've Got To Get You A Woman.") But Dale apparently doesn't think that he has any reason to have an interest in helping me to find a mate. He hasn't literally said, "I've been blessed with a wife. Who gives a shit whether or not you are similarly blessed." But frankly, that's how it feels to me.

When my mother came to Bellingham to visit with me, she made a phone call to a friend in my hometown of Springfield, Missouri. She learned that Don Freeman had died. Don was a man who had been involved with my brother in connection with Alcoholics Anonymous (which my brother Matt unfortunately needs, since he is an alcoholic). Don was 60 years old when he died, just 3 years older than I am now. At least he'd been married (and unfortunately divorced), so he was not a virgin when he died. If I die when I am 60 years old, unless something changes for me very quickly, I will not ever have known what it's like to have sex with a woman. I do not want to still be a virgin when I die. There have been other major disappointments in my life, related to such things as my desire to make a living doing work which I actually enjoyed doing (e.g., making music and art). But never having experienced sexual intercourse would have to be at the top of the list of those disappointments. Sex is on my bucket list. I've always wanted to have sex in the context of a loving marriage, but I am at the point where I find myself investigating alternatives which would not be endorsed by most Christians.

Brothels are legal in the state of Nevada, and provided that one can find the money, one can find some very attractive women (like Airforce Amy, the "Michael Jordan of sex" who works at The Bunny Ranch, where she was featured in an HBO series called "Cathouse") who are quite willing to play a role in one's "devirginization" (to use Amy's term).

My roommate Everett Barton lost his virginity when he was 17 years old. That's pretty common, according to a Wikipedia article on "Adolescent Sexuality in the United States". So essentially, I am 40 years older than the age when males usually lose their virginity, and I am still a virgin.

It is inordinately hypocritical of men like Dale McMurtrey to harshly judge and criticize brothers who resort to visits to brothels, sex surrogates and the like, if they are totally unwilling to help those brothers to make love connections with women who could help them to meet their needs sexually without ever needing to commit fornication.

Would God forgive me if I visited Airforce Amy and had sex with her? I think so. For crying out loud, God forgave Mary Magdelene, who was a prostitute, and God forgave King David, when he murdered Bathsheba's husband on the battlefield. I would never contemplate murder as a means of getting a woman! Even adultery is something I would not consider, because I do believe in the value of a promise, and I cannot fathom how a man could want to betray a woman who had actually committed her life to him by getting married to him. My father betrayed my mother in that manner, and I thought that it was disgraceful for him to do that. But if I were to see a prostitute at a brothel, I would not be betraying anyone, other than God, who has demonstrated time and time again throughout history that such offenses are forgivable.

Even so, I have not yet fornicated once, despite having grown up in the era of "free love". I would rather not have to resort to doing so. If people like Dale McMurtrey would help to bear my burden of singleness by helping me to find a mate, then that temptation would be obviated.