Friday, August 30, 2013

CraigsList Is For People Tired Of Being Virgins

If you've ever seen the movie "The Sessions", in which Helen Hunt plays the part of a sex surrogate named Cheryl Cohen-Green, you know that it's about a handicapped man named Mark O'Brien, whose handicap was so severe that he had to be wheeled around the campus of the college he attended on a gurney. (He'd had a motorized gurney at one point, like a motorized wheelchair but more extreme, but he was always bumping into people when he drove it.)

Mark O'Brien, like all normal men, longed to experience love and sexual intercourse with a woman. But most of the women he met were home care assistants he'd hired on account of his disability. His overtures to them were spurned, even though they cared for him on some level. So he was still a virgin, in his late thirties.

When I learned about that movie, I really related to the movie, on account of the fact that I, too, was a virgin. (I was considerably older, as a 56 year old man.) I was gratified to note that the priest with whom Mark O'Brien consulted about his desire to see a sex surrogate had essentially told Mark that he believed that God would cut him some slack, on account of his physical disability. My handicap is not as severe as Mark's was, since I need no gurney, but even so, walking any long distance, especially up a steep hill while carrying my laptop computer, is a real strain for me.

I actually contacted Cheryl Cohen-Green, and we had several pleasant phone conversations. I was seriously thinking about visiting California, where she and most other sex surrogates work and live. But difficulties in making connections with other surrogates in that area caused me to think that it might not be an option for me after all.

I next investigated the option of visiting one of a number of legal brothels in the state of Nevada. I corresponded with several of the prostitutes working there, including Madison Graham (The Love Ranch) and Airforce Amy (The Bunny Ranch). Amy had been featured on an HBO TV series called "Cathouse". Here's a link to the Wikipedia article about that series.

Paying for sex was not something I'd ever wanted to do, but it seemed likely to me, on the basis of my handicap and on the basis of my past failures to establish any kind of a relationship that might lead me to marriage, that I would never experience sexual intercourse any other way. (There was always the option of buying a realistic love doll from, but even though those dolls were pretty amazing in terms of their physical appearance, I wanted to have sex with a REAL WOMAN, not a RealDoll. Besides, good love dolls cost way more than I could afford to pay.)

Recently, I learned about another option. I'd told my case manager Michael Justin about my attempt to start up my own singles group, called Get Hitched, in connection with In fact, I've scheduled the group's first meeting for tomorrow at 12:15 p.m. at the Round Table Pizza restaurant. But it seems unlikely that there will be more than a couple of people there; in fact, even though one woman has RSVP'd me to let me know that she'll be there, I may in fact be the only person there. I've ordered a large pizza for the occasion, but I may find myself with a lot of leftovers, since I normally don't buy a large pizza just for myself.

I told Michael that I really needed to publicize the group with something more than just the flyer's I'd posted on a couple of bulletin boards in town. EDDM mailings would enable me to reach tons of people with information about the group. But EDDM mailings are expensive! (EDDM stands for Every Door Direct Mail.)

Michael suggested that I look into CraigsList in relation to my desire to meet women. I'd had one or two bad experiences with CraigsList in the past, but I decided to follow his advice. At that site, I discovered that they had a Casual Encounters section, specifically for men and women seeking to get laid. I ran an ad there, and two women responded. One sent me a link to a web page showing her with bared breasts; the other sent me an email attachment which similarly showed her topless. The latter is from Ferndale (much closer than California or Nevada), and she's 23 years old. (And WOW, she really looks good with her top off.) She knows that I'm 57, but she's still interested in "hosting" me in her Ferndale home.

UPDATE: I just got a third response from a woman. Like the first two, she sent email attachments showing her bare breasts, but neither of the photos she sent showed her face.

I understand that women whose CraigsList ads state that they are looking for "generous" men are usually hookers, but so far, neither of the aforementioned women have said anything to me to indicate that they might charge me money for their sexual services. I don't know what the Ferndale woman does for a living, but the other woman who also showed her face works as a teacher's assistant, and while I suppose that a teacher's assistant might also be a hooker, it seems unlikely. It seems likely that either of the women I mentioned will want me to buy at least one dinner for them, and I'm willing to do that.

To have sex with a woman to whom I am not married would be regarded by many of my fellow Christians as fornication. Undoubtedly. But I regard fornication as a relatively mild offense, in comparison with adultery, which my father committed while married to my mother. Fornication is certainly MUCH milder than what King David did when he had Absolom murdered on the battlefield so that David could marry Bathsheba. (The Wikipedia article about Bathsheba shows an old painting of Bathsheba, hanging in the Louvre museum, and she had nice boobs too, or at least the model for that painter did.)

We Christians talk a lot about grace, but in practice, we're often unwilling to extend grace and forgiveness to people who find that the legalistic requirements of the church are heavy burdens to carry, despite our rhetoric about God's ability and willingness to forgive.

I would still rather experience sexual intercourse in the context of love and marriage. But when I pled with my pastor and others in my church for their help in making a love connection, I got the impression that they did not plan to do much of practical value, in that regard. (One woman's idea of "help" was to recommend that I read a book entitled "Sexless In The City", as if I couldn't have written a book with that title myself.) So it seems to me that they really have no business butting into mine and dictating to me what I ought to do vis-a-vis sex. I WILL NOT DIE A VIRGIN!!! (A friend of my brother's named Donald recently died, at an age only 3 years older than my current age. Can you hear the clock ticking? Because I certainly can.)Abraham Maslow listed sex as one of the most fundamental human needs, right alongside eating, sleeping, defecating and so forth. My pastor has "pooh-poohed" that notion, but then again, he HAS a wife, as do most of the men in my church.

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